Day Before Weigh In

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I know I am not going to be surprised. I am a devoted weigh myself every morning type of person. While I know that isn't recommended I know that for me personally I need daily affirmation or daily guilt to keep me on track. Therefore I am not going to be surprised when I see the numbers this week higher than last week.

So all this week despite being 90% on target with everything I am still up. What is up with that?? It will be a big shocker to me tomorrow if I am actually down. And I'm not just going to be up a little bit, I'm going to be up by at least a few lbs. Perhaps my scale needs a smack, it has been acting drunk lately. Either that or a new battery.

We only have three weigh ins to go (including tomorrow) to finish up this latest biggest loser challenge and this is so not the time for some kind of silly yoyo plateau (rolling hills if you will). Really. It frustrates me because I have worked hard for every challenge and yet never win. If I weren't stagnating right now I could win. At this point though I really don't know. As of the latest numbers the leader is at about 9% loss for the round while I am sitting at 7.82. In order for me to win I need to knock off 6-8 lbs in the next two weeks which well, really isn't realistic. Maybe I can hope my biggest competitor has a slip up week or plateaus herself. Wishful thinking.

It has been difficult for me mentally as well because I am working out hard every day. I am for the most part being very diligent with my eating. I go off track sometimes regarding food choices but even then I still religiously stay within my points ranges. At this point my working out is actually working against me. What I lose in fat I am gaining in muscle which is a big part of why the numbers get funny. Too bad the competition wasn't based on inches lost as opposed to weight lost.

As it stands now I have only 25 lbs left to go to reach my overall goal. I am vey proud of the progress I have made. After this challenge I really will only have one more round to go and that one may prove to be the hardest as I get closer to my goal.

I am reminding myself that biggest loser challenges will come and go. I am in this for the fitness and healthy eating lifestyle long haul. Heck, I've even started drinking veggie fruit shakes in the evening. Still it would be nice to win, I really do need to buy some new runners.

But biggest loser challenge aside I still say I am doing very well. My choices get better every day. My body is getting toned more and more each workout I do. I am coming up to that last 25 lb push and I am really going to push. I have a plan and I am implementing it every day.

Homeschool Fess Up

So it seems as though this past year has been a big derailment from what I envisioned. I hear on the homeschool grapevine that that happens a lot. Each year is a new year to learn about your children and yourself. Each year presents different challenges, different goals, different gains and losses.

One big thing I discovered about myself is...I HATE CURRICULUM PLANNING. While I love the idea and the practice of using "real books" it is the tying everything together that really really bogs me down. On a yearly overview I can plan it out, even on a monthly overview I can plan it out. But when it comes to the day to day I get so overwhelmed.

Spring is around the corner (I'll keep telling myself that) which means that homeschool convention time is nearing. That means that talk and planning of curriculum comes up. Sometimes I think homeschoolers spend as much time deliberating and debating as they do actually teaching the dang stuff. I know that is true in my case. I have read my guide books, I've done so much online research.

I feel like I sit between wanting to be the perfect planned daily homeschooling mother and wanting my children to learn an all encompassing and self guided approach as is unschooling. Rock meet hard place.

Truth be told we have been doing a lot of unschooling. I don't like to admit this because I fear the fall out from it. What will others think?? Am I failing my kids?? How are they possibly learning?? Those are some of the guilty thoughts that pop in my brain. But all I have to do is really observe them to see that they ARE learning. They are absorbing so much. Sitting back and allowing them to gravitate to their interests and learn various concepts seems both lazy and gratifying to me at the same time.

Nonetheless I don't feel 100% confident in unschooling so it is not a path I can take. Not to mention what *gasp* others will think. I care to much about what others think really. I have to work on that.

So where does that leave me? It leaves me waffling between curriculums. Where do we go from here? Thankfully I have never made a massive financial investment into resources (thank you internets) so I can shove any guilt there. And as a homeschooler I have the flexibility to shift gears whenever I think we need to.

Who says curriculum starts fresh and book spines cracked for the first time in September. I can rock and roll this thing anyway I want.

In going forward here are a few random thoughts:
-I can't stand the daily curriculum planning
-I know what I would like to approach subject wise
-I don't like printing. Free resources are great...until you are on your 10th ream of paper and millionth ink cartridge
-While my boys are rambunctious they do seem to enjoy sitting down and doing worksheets, go figure.
-I really need to separate my homeschool pinboard into different areas.
-With three kids already and a very busy husband I don't have time to spend fretting about daily lesson plans
-I like knowing what I *should* be doing and then doing my own thing based on that

With some of these points and other in mind here are some less random thoughts:
-We need a core curriculum to guide us through each day
-The free resources will make great supplemental material
-We need flexibility to take days off
-We need flexibility to delve deeper into areas of greater interest
-I need to use both curriculum and my children as my guide
-Most of all I want learning to be fun and exciting for my children

Over next while I am going to be working on creating more balance where all of this is concerned. Say a little prayer for me. Imma gonna need it.