Friday, 24 February 2012

Weighty Frustrations

Recycling the same five pounds.

Yo yoing.


Up and down.


Whatever I refer to it as it does not change what it is. FRUSTRATING.

I am at an odd point in my weight loss. I seem to hit a similar point at this weight every time. I am so close to surpassing a major hurdle and I can't quite get over it. It isn't even a physical hurdle either. This is all mental. It is all in my head. I am psyching myself out.

Perhaps it is because on the other side of 200 lbs lies territory I have not seen in a long time. The new/old territory will bring along some definite challenges. Am I afraid of it? Maybe not afraid. Intimidated? That is maybe more accurate. I can't get away with the same diet flub ups. As I lose weight my caloric needs reduce and I have to account for that. I am going to have to become more strict with myself. Even add some exercise.

Exercise. Yes. That is certainly something I need to do. To my credit I did a day of the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred yesterday and OH EM GEE am I sore today. I really should have powered through another day of it today but could not. If I wanted my legs to make it up and down the stairs of my house to do laundry Jillian was just going to have to weight. Haha. I meant wait. How is that for a Freudian slip?

In regards to exercise though I have been able to get away with losing 30+ lbs and not actually had to really exercise. I am living proof that weight loss is something like 80% diet and 20% exercise. What exercise does do though besides burn those calories is motivate you to eat better in order to not have to burn as many calories. At least that is what I am hoping. I want the effort I put into exercising to inspire me to eat better. Not just less calories but better food overall. Healthier food.

In regards to eating. Normally I am pretty decent at staying within my daily weight watchers points range but lately I have been bad at tracking. Either not measuring or saying to heck with it and not tracking at all. Now, while I stay in range when I am being a good girl the food quality isn't necessarily the greatest. I know all about clean eating principles. I make my kids great snacks and meals. Why is it so difficult to do it for myself? It isn't even that hard.

What has spurned this post into being is that today was weigh in day. I weighed 204.4 this morning. Which is 1 lb down this week but so not where I pictured myself 2 months ago. Two months ago I saw myself already in the high 180s by this point. I went off track a bit, partially my own doing, partially out of necessity. Getting back on track has been hard. Even in this round 3 of biggest loser I am only 1 lb down from staring and we are a number of weeks in. I have little to show for it.

I'm hoping to kick this complacency's ass this week though. Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be better. I keep hoping to be at the 175 mark for summer. If I want that I have to work for it. I have to want it.  And for the record not just 175 but a fit and toned 175. I want to get these flabby arms and legs leaner and stronger. Perhaps with summer activities I can lose the remaining 10 for a final goal of 165. These are not lofty goals. They are realistic and attainable. I will attain them.

I have several weeks left in the biggest loser challenge. I don't know if there will be a round four. Many of the participants have gotten to where they want to be. I really need to work on establishing a good program for myself now so when that support is finished I can still go on. Although I really hope our group stays together. They have been such a wealth up support and inspiration.

Now that I have said these things I feel that I can move on with the next stage. Get over whatever is holding me back and go full force. I know the force is with me.

May the force be with you as well.

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